Being Real to Your Heart

I have a client, a successful career lady. She always with her big smile, saying "Hello" to everyone. No matter in the lift or in any restaurant she walks in. This is "her". Her greeting and warmth always delight me. She is my regular client, she know when is the "perfect timing" to come. Through answering her question in the reading process, it shows lots of insight, messages that bring me firm and grounded.

"Guard your heart, no matter how." I remember when a channeled message brought to her by the holy master, Jesus. She went through a financial crisis in her fashion business, in the meantime, she facing the risk of her heart disease. She will go through a heart operation in July.

When she panic and nervous about this issues, she asked me, "Alice, do you think I can cross over of all these? You know, I have really no idea, after I lost the direction of my career, I always have arguments with my spouse. He seems get bored to my sharing. Why he never listen to me? My son, uuhh, I so worry about him. I am thinking, what subjects should he take when he get into college. And my heart, haih! How am I going to...."

I silently listen on what she said. A 45 years old woman, with a proper attire, tears roll on her cheek. At that moment, I feel my surrounding suddenly become very quiet, I can't even listen anything from my physical ears. My heart is numb, and mix with a strong sense of pain. How true is all these feelings that I am experience now? I question myself. However, I started listen her sorrow, disappointment, pain, inner scream, and the wanting of freedom. All of her sharing become a series of feeling....yes, all are feelings.

I took few deep breaths, continue staring on her, wiping the tears. The sympathy and pain that I can feel in my chest is so vivid. It is a real pain, just like a sword pierce through my heart. I stop her sharing, and asked her closed her eyes. I took her hand, place on her heart, and said, "Feel it, feel your pain, sorrow, disappointment, frustration, anger.... really feel it now. Let them go through you. They have no power on you, they are just the feelings that you experience."

"It's ok. Everything will be alright. Take a few deep breath." She cried out loud in front of me. I saw her vulnerability, sense her fear, feel her nervous....again, everything happen at that moment, is so real to me and her.

I sit back on my chair, let the music came through me, my tears same like her, rolling down to my cheek. An inner voice comfort me, "Feel it, Alice. The only way out, is through. Feel your pain, and disappointment. It's ok. They have no power on you." Both of us, just like the little girls, weeping around the corner when something hurt us thoroughly.

I wipe off my tears, give a smile on her. Even though she was still with her eyes closed. I saw the most real and natural expression of a human being. Cry when you pain, laugh when you happy. Scream when you fear...the side of real and spontaneous. How long I forgot about my vulnerability, I don't know. But through her, she show me, completely. That side of us, being real, authentic, and honest.

I remember a closed friend told me before, "Alice, you know, you can easily covering your true emotion. No one will know it, but You are the only one can feel it for yourself. Only when you allow yourself to go for it. I never see your cry when you have the sadness. I only feel that you are just like a beautiful scenery, a lake beside the snow mountain, so peace and serene. Do you have the time when you cry?"

This message always ringing on mind when I have my sadness and despair, especially when I cry. Again, it reminds me, "Being real, and honest to myself. Saying the words that is true to my heart. Doing the work that is expressing from my soul."

At least at this moment, I know, all these words, is so true to my heart.