"I am blessed." I told myself silently when we ride the speed boat to jetty. Her words like the ink mark on my heart. The grace of those message somehow just like God send His messenger to me, which is the message from my friends. They show me, what is it about making a stand for my dream. If the harmony family is my dream, then I got to protect it. Nothing else, but it is time to making a stand for the truth that I believe in my heart.
I used to reject it, and I thought to find the other route to accomplish a new harmony home. Yet, I doubted sometimes, am I on the right path? Why when I decided to move on, that "move on" somehow is shown in different way unexpectedly. And I hold the bible, asking God to give me His wiser wisdom. Indeed, He shows me, He wants me to make a stand for my dream just like what my friend told me. I got to protect my stand on this broken family. I need to stay strong and courageous. Only Love can heal yourself and those involved.
It takes lots of courage for me to walk back to my broken marriage and family. How am I gonna to make it? When I decided to go for legal procedure, why God pull me back? And I learn from this lesson, speak the truth from my heart no matter what. Never thinking to stand on the "good" for others or try to think for others. You would not know what is good for anyone else, especially those is the one you love. There is only one person you need to be honest, that is yourself.
I reflect many lessons that I have gone through within these three months. It is like a long season of winter. Sometimes the cool wind in the winter just like the fierce lion, almost blown away my dream and passion. I am like a small tiny angel carries my wings and keep moving on. The things that keep me warmth, is my faith and the grace of angel. Also, prayer just work together with the law of attraction. It draws what I need and what I truly want.
I was hurt deeply by the emotion of my loved one, I asked many times, "Should I continue?" "Why not I just walk the other easy path, divorce?" And Angels heard my prayers - Harmony family, They wake me up in the middle of night, wanted me to confront the fear that keep hoarding me, "Talk, you need to talk, you need to tell the truth in your heart. No one will know, until you share it out." My palm is sweating, shaking, and the fear seems paralyze my movement. At last, I said it out to my loved one about the marriage and my care and love. No preparation, only my intention of love. I can only share and like throw out what stucked in my heart and lung for so long. After all...huh...I sleep well from then on...
Cross over from self healing to healing others...
Huh...finally, I did it. I started feel lighter when I allow myself to speak the truth from my inner heart. Speaking out your truth do not need anyone's approval. I understand sometimes you may question like,"Oh, what if he or she not allow me to say?"
Well, what I can say is, "Risk it and try it." And angels also teach me, "love is giving out and do not expect. Simply let it flow..."
Angels bring me into this trip, They give me the opportunity to learn the different perspective from my support group. Angels know what my support group can teach me. And yes, they give me the chance of self-healing when the moment I heal their emotions.
I do not plan what I can share and teach for them, even though they came out from my Angel Workshop. Somehow, when I allow them to teach me, when I open my arm to receive their love, things started become very different. I no longer need to control or take charge of how things will happen. When I with them, they give me the total free space to ease myself, to express my inner truth.
The most touching, dreams on the sand...
Irene brings some firework that we can play on the beach. In this trip, we all feel like Angels guide us to do what we mean to do. That night when we finish dinner, we walk to the beach and draw a big heart on the sand. Within the heart, we are simply nudges by our feelings to write on our dreams in it. There are "love, peace, joy, harmony, health, happiness..."
We poke the firework surround the shape of the heart and light it on. Amazingly, when all the firework stick was lighted on, I was touched completely, I could not describe anything by words, all just a kind of feeling of love, joy, and peace...
We all write on our dream on Mother Earth, and I know She sees our dreams, and everything starts to become better and better.
Thank you my dearest buddies, Irene, Becky, Meu, Siew Wen, and Poh Ling one more time.
I could not believe how can I cope if you guys are not here with me
I honestly love you all! As always. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment